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Thursday, August 03, 2006
 

Family

Good God! Someone just informed me that this small person (I have been told that it is no longer considered acceptable to say 'midget' in polite company) with the disproportionately large mole and the jarringly mannish voice is Cong Dadong's daughter. When I saw her the first time, I thought I recognized her, but the name was all wrong: Arroyo. I suppose you can blame the whole transmigration process for my faculties not quite yet being what they once were. Although, of course, maybe I should have listened more closely to the lama who facilitated my return (thank you Lobsang).

And I have also just learned that that bitch Imelda is still alive, that bastard Imee is a Member of the House of Representatives (they're letting anyone in now, aren't they?), and that people still believe that Bong-bong actually looks like he has Down's. My people. How can you become a truly noble race - Maharlika - when you continue to suffer these fools in your midst?

I needed to keep Imelda around because she knew too much and I couldn't trust her out of my sight. But believe me, when Ninoy bought the farm, I knew who to blame and I regretted getting her that bullet-proof bra. Now that I think about it, it must have been Eddie who convinced me. Fabian - good ole' Fabian - warned me that midget with the oral/phallic obsession and the funny ears would be my downfall.

Imee, I tolerated because she had her father's charisma and my eloquence. I almost forgave her for being a bastard since she seemed to have so much potential. The fact that she had a great rack didn't hurt. She could mesmerize a crowd of young people with her promises and tight t-shirts. I wish we could have done something about that chin, though. It looked like she could open tin cans with the damned thing. Nowadays, however, it seems like she's grown into the chin, and it isn't as annoying as it once was. Or maybe my 11 year old hormones are just going through a phase.

Her utter stupidity, on the other hand, is completely abrasive. What idiot would abandon her very publicly avowed principles at the very last minute and blame mommy? I can, quite possibly, forgive the pragmatic (if Machiavellian) view that 3 minutes of nobility is a poor trade for pork barrel funds, but to dish out such a lame excuse about how her mother asked her not to vote for impeachment for the sake of my being moved to the Libingan ng mga Bayani is just too preposterous for words. For one thing, the Filipino people aren't stupid (well, not all the time anyway). For another, why would I want to be planted in the dirt to become worm food, when I had an airconditioned room (alright, display case), and a perpetual reading light flame?

As for Bong-bong, ukinanam, what choice did I have? Think about it. If you were President of a entire damned country, and you can't go after the hooligans who beat your son into a vegetable, how credible would you be? So there had to be a doppleganger to cover up the entire pathetic incident. I only wish that I had paid closer attention to who was actually chosen to take Bong-Bong's place. My son was a handsome young man. His replacement looked like a 'special' ('midget,' 'retard;' it looks like I'm going to have to relearn half my vocabulary if this goes on) child.

So you see, my beloved countrymen? I really had no choice about tolerating these three morons. What's your excuse?



I miss Irene, though.
 

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>>LIMAHONG
Name: FM
Location:

Many of us don't know it, but Limahong had Manila infested for many, many years until he was driven out towards Pangasinan. That is why many of the people of Ilocos and Pangasinan are alleged to have been descended from Chinese pirates. I am not exempted from that charge. That was one of the first political attacks against me when I first ran for public office. "How can you trust this man, Marcos, he is descended from Chinese pirates?"

>>VONNEGUT

It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead.


Most images: The Foundation
Most quotes: The Foundation
Everything else: Mine

>>COMMENTARIAT

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